It's Your Time You're Wasting: A Teacher's Tales of Classroom Hell by Chalk Frank

Author:Chalk, Frank [Chalk, Frank]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Monday Books
Published: 2010-12-14T00:00:00+00:00

PARENTS’ EVENING

THE behaviour today was disgraceful – the school was full of gum-chewing yobs wearing baseball caps and shouting abuse at us… yes, it’s parents’ evening again.

This one is for Year 9 and I have been asked to attend because I teach (well, I spend time with) a lot of the Year 9 kids. I have no intention of letting on to my full-time colleagues that I managed to negotiate being paid for being here. What I do intend is to give some of the parents some serious abuse. Assuming they bother to turn up.

Each of the parents/guardians/’Primary Care-Givers’ or random ‘adults’ responsible for producing and/or looking after these kids has a five minute slot set aside for them. They have had every opportunity to book that slot over the last month. But only a few parents managed to do this; the rest just turn up when they can be bothered.

It’s a good crowd tonight – we have been unable to schedule the event to coincide with a major football match, so we have a few more customers than usual – and mostly female, reflecting both the high proportion of single parents and the sheer lack of interest from the father/current partner. Many are blathering mindlessly into mobile phones while they await their appointment; in Declan’s mother’s case, she’s gabbing away at the same time as Mr Green is trying to talk to her.

All the teachers have dressed up in their finest outfits. I have never seen so many jackets. Even Mrs Simpson is wearing something vaguely matching.

Mr Wilkinson certainly seems to have pulled out all the stops this evening. Gone is his threadbare jacket, replaced with a smart, well-fitting, dark affair. Unfortunately, he gives the game way by constantly glancing down and nervously checking it. Ah, I see it now! The price tag has been tucked carefully into the pocket and it will be back on the shelves tomorrow!

I wish I had a concealed camera because it’s non-stop comedy. Shazney’s mother informs me that her daughter wants to become a doctor. I can barely keep a straight face and have to pretend to be having a coughing fit.

‘Maybe she should think about being a nurse, or perhaps the secretary in the surgery, or maybe a cleaner in the surgery, or…’

Maybe I ought to feel guilty: whatever happened to inspiring children, encouraging them, helping them to ‘be the best they can be’? But I don’t feel guilty; through a combination of genetics, upbringing and schooling, Shazney will have done really, really well if she makes it as a doctor’s cleaner, and there’s nothing wrong with that anyway. It is sad, but being sad doesn’t mean it isn’t true.

Mrs Scroggins accuses me of picking on Declan. I admit, regretfully, that I do. She was obviously expecting an argument so is unsure of what to say next and just settles for a sympathetic, ‘OK, then.’

I have to admit that I am prejudiced against Declan, just as I am against all the really unpleasant kids.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.